A little bit about me and my pursuit of love…

I’m 30 and single. That can mean many things in today’s world. In bigger American cities it’s pretty common and not that big of a deal. Where I live it is more rare. In my twenties, settling down was the farthest thing from my mind. For me, it was a smart choice not to get married, I simply wasn't ready. I wanted that time for myself to live, experience, and explore on my own. I was involved in serious relationships, fell in and out of love, but nothing I ever considered to be a lasting lifetime partnership. I have to ask myself, is that still the goal? I know what I want to find in my heart but I feel obligated to ask myself if we only get one life what do I really want to do with it and does that include sharing my entire life with one person? Whether it be because it is in my nature, human nature, or otherwise I have an innate feeling that experience shared intimately with another indivual is worth too much  not to go for. 

However, today, women are redefining happily ever after, so I have to consider redefining this pursuit of happiness for myself. I’ve also never been one to knock something until I try it, so I decided to fill out an eHarmony profile. I’m open to possibilities, and I’ve been single for awhile so maybe it’s time to put myself back in the game. Partly I do this as an experiment, to see what this Internet dating thing is all about. I also did it to get to know myself a little better, keep a record of it, and curiosity. So I guess the question is, can a gal like me really find love on the Internet?? The jury is still out but for now it's given me a reason to write about what I'm looking for and what I want. Eharmony has you fill out a very extensive profile full of the usual questions but focusing on personality traits and common interests. Below is the "In Your Own Words Section" of my eHarmony profile:

Denise, Norfolk, VA

The one thing I am most passionate about:

Travel. This life is short and I want to see all I can. Travel opens people's minds, it can bring people of all cultures closer together because it helps people understand each other better. Travel is good for the soul, it reminds you how connected we all are. People are the same everywhere innately, but it's interesting to me the differences we accumulate from our environment. I like being active, I am a dancer at heart, always laughing and smiling when I dance. I am very connected to music, it makes me feel alive. I like writing as well; in journals, blogs, and poetry, about dreams or life experiences. Art moves me, I like creativity.

The most important thing I'm looking for in a person:

Honesty. I can count on someone who is honest. I'm a very straightforward person, I don't believe in beating around the bush or lying to suit my purpose. It's a waste of time for me, I can get what I want more effectively if I'm truthful. However, even if and when I don't get exactly what I want by being honest, I always get what I need and what is best for me.

Basic Information

Occupation:	Student
Age	30
Height	5' 5"
Wants Kids:	Maybe
Kids at Home:	No

Ethnicity	White, non-Hispanic
Religion:	Christian
Drinks:	A few times a week
Smokes:	Never

In my own words...

The most influential person in my life has been:

My dad has had the most influence in my life, but other than my parents, there are several people that I've known and studied from afar that have heavily influenced me. For example Christian Amanpour, I aim to be like her. I like her journalistic integrity, her search for truth, and I believe she is a strong, intelligent example of a woman. I also like men like Robert Frost, his poetry inspires and influences the way I think. The people closest to me probably have had the most immediate influence from day to day. People like my sister, I spent most of my childhood years trying to be just like her, following in her footsteps. Both my sisters are positive influences in my life. They are strong and good people with warm hearts and intelligent minds. My mother is extremely self sufficient and savvy. There are characteristics that I admire in people close to me and from afar that influence who I am.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

• My family is the most wonderful gift in my life. My father is my best friend. My mother is a female role model to me, as well as my sisters. They are also my closest friends. They're good people with high morals and values. They are normal and well adjusted which creates dependability and stability in my life. They are also wonderful examples of solid relationships, all happily married. My parents have been married almost 45 years, they raised me well in a healthy, loving environment. My brother-in-laws are good men that care about family and have been great influences in my life, I'm thankful for them. I'm a lucky girl.

• My cat Jackson. He's my buddy, my best buddy. He has been there at times when I was lonely, or sad, and cuddled up right next to me until I felt better. He's sweet and playful and funny. He has been such a wonderful gift. I love animals, I believe it is important to have a connection with them. While I am not a mother, Jackson is the closest thing to a child for me. I think animals teach you a lot, and Jackson has made me a better individual. He's not your typical cat, even people who don't like cats love him. He makes me proud and I am so thankful to have him in my life.

• My best friends. I have never been the type of person to have a lot of close friends around me. I have always been able to count the people outside my family who are closest to me on one hand. Those friends are incredibly important to me and steady influences in my life. My best friend was usually my boyfriend when I was younger. While I still yearn for a relationship where my partner is my best friend I do understand the importance of close friendships outside of a relationship. I'm blessed to have friends that would stick with me through thick and thin. My best friend never wavers and has been there for me through the hardest of times.

Three of my best life-skills are:

• A strong sense of intuition
• The ability to keep an open mind
• Tenacity and Resilience

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

My intelligence and wit. I think people get caught up in the package of a person and any preconceived notions they may have. I wish people could see how perceptive I am right away. It would save me the trouble of proving it. People like to judge you and put you in a box. I am not one thing or easily classified.

The things I can't live without are:

• Love
• Music
• Dance
• Travel
• Family

The first thing people notice about me:

I love life. It's apparent, I get excited about life experiences and doing anything new. The first thing people notice about me is my smile, and that may be part of my appearance but it's also a reflection of who I am on the inside. I just love life, and living it to the fullest. I want to try everything I can. People probably notice that I'm friendly and nice, I like to make people feel comfortable when they first meet me, it makes me feel more comfortable if they are as well.

Some additional information I want you to know:

We live in a tricky time for dating. There is a lot of confusing temptation out there. As a woman, it can be hard to trust and to set reasonable boundaries consistent with today's world. Men are raised differently today so finding someone like my father seems impossible. I don't want to seem too old fashioned but I'd love to find a gentleman, a modern gentleman. I respect qualities such a patience, persistence, and perseverance. I believe in love, and I want to find a partner. I know men and women are different from each other, I respect that, I'd like to learn from my partner. I hope to find someone I can share this crazy life with.

My interests:

I typically spend my leisure time:

I watch movies. I love films, I think they are fascinating. I can lose myself in a good movie, become completely enthralled as if I am in that movie. I really love my laptop, it thinks as quickly as I do. My mind can shoot off in a million different directions and surfing the Internet is very similar. I'm a very visual person so I'm usually observing, looking out at a beautiful view, going to brunch, people watching. I like hanging out with people, relaxing. I also love going dancing, any excuse to get dressed up and go out on the town. I like the energy of cities and being out at night you can experience that, it's stimulating.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I've been in school for the last two years so all of the books I have read have had to do with the courses I am taking. I did really enjoy my philosophy and religions of the world books. I also like to read poetry. The last book I can remember reading that really stuck out in my mind was "Conversations with God." I read it awhile ago but it really affected me. I thought it was interesting, someone talking to God, something I do every night with no voice response. It made so much sense, every answer was clever and logical, to questions we all have about this life and the world we live in.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

• Passionate
• Honest
• Loyal
• Sweet

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It's interesting to see how many matches eHarmony has paired me up with. The catch of course is until I pay to become a member I cannot see any of their photos and can only have very minimal contact like the icebreaker questions they provide for you, similar to taking a quiz. Overall, EHarmony has a more respectable reputation for matching serious minded people really looking for love and not just something short term or a hookup like Match.com but I've read some of the comments on their facebook page and the results seem very mixed. However, I think it's a positive site aiming to help people, provided you are willing to pay the monthly fees. I think I'll wait until they have an amazing deal or until I am a bit more serious about Internet dating.